Friday, September 30, 2005

Bearings

Tonight, I did something bad. I had a midnight snack. A bagel. Wheat, but still... You can learn something from a bagel. One minute it's just a heat wave away from being perfectly toasted, but turn your back and blink an eye - and you're scraping the burnt right off it. My life is kinda like a bagel. I've lost my job. For the second time in a month in a half - but this time...it's for real. And my family seems to be falling apart - which I know is normal for families, but still... And I can't seem to focus on my homework. I can't seem to focus on anything. I'm missing workouts, I'm putting off homework and I'm less than agressive in my job search. I have very little money and that will soon be no money at all. Tonight, I'm remembering when I had it all together. I had my bearings. What they were exactly, I still don't know, but I had them...dammit. Now, I've lost my bearings. I can't seem to figure anything out. My days are filled with angst ridden phone calls that are going to rack up an ungodly cell phone bill and reruns of 'Judging Amy'. The words 'I really should be..." run 'round my head. I really should be searching for a job... I really should be doing my homework... I really should be more ambitious than this... I really should be. But I can't. I don't have any bearings. I've lost them. If you've seen them, please send them back to me. I look for them when I finally drag myself out of my apartment. I try to find them in obscure places like my mailbox, the highway or the gas station...and more distinct places like a friend's house or a classroom or the gym. But when I get back into my car and come home at the end of the day, they're still not there. And I seem to be lost without them. Even now, I try to find a way to scrounge one or two of them up to finish this...but I can't. Damn bagels...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice Blog!!!   I thought I'd tell you about a site that will let give you places where
you can make extra cash! I made over $800 last month. Not bad for not doing much. Just put in your
zip code and up will pop up a list of places that are available. I live in a small area and found quite
a few. MAKE MONEY NOW

Alan said...

maybe a move to AZ will do you good. I didn't care for AZ, but it was much better than Meeshigan. Hang in there....

Jessica said...

Hrm..Alan raises a good question...

Am I wasting my time trying to last out the rest of this year here? Or should I pack it up and head west now?

Unsane said...

That whole experience sounds ouchy -- kind of like what I was writing on recently.

www.k-and-ktreasures.com said...

I just came across your blog about christmas song and I think it is really informative for all of your members. You could consider visiting my site about christmas song to guide your guests towards products and services related to christmas song. Keep up the good work!