Saturday, June 24, 2006
It has become apparent to me, thanks to this job I have that the world never sleeps. Even when we are tucked into slumber there is a whole world out there that keeps going. Sure, it's morning in Israel, afternoon in India and everybody is going about their Saturday. But even as night falls here in the good ol' US of A - life keeps going. And today all I wanted to do was ignore it. Somehow I got cranky yesterday evening. I can't remember how it started but even a drink and some Dove ice cream couldn't take it away. Instead it got worse. I haven't been able to put my finger on what it is exactly that is keeping me grumpy - but I'm still grumpy. Unable to sleep when I got home, I had to force the blankets over my head to shut out the impending daylight. Eventually I fell asleep. I woke to a refreshed and rejuvinated 100% Grumpy. I had voice mails I didn't want to listen to and phone calls I didn't want to take. I forced myself into the shower and could barely force myself to get dressed once I got out. My apartment is no where near the level of cleanliness I would like it to be. I don't have the time to clean it or keep it clean. It's gotten to the point where I can't even work in it because I can barely stand the sight of it. I checked my messages. My little brother was in the area and wanted to hang out. I had to take some serious time to decide whether I could stand a visit or not. I was that grumpy. But I couldn't say no to him. So I said yes. My computer has been broken for as long as I can remember. It's something relatively simple, I'm sure of it. But I can't figure it out and I really don't want to pay someone to do it. So I live w/o internet and I can't stand it any longer. I need my net. I could handle my time at home if I had it - I'm sure. I also could send stories out without having to stop at a friend's house, or work or drive the 30 min to the computer lab at school. Dustin wasn't in the door five minutes when I hung up my cell phone, having made a call to the bank to check my accounts, and said "Wanna go to WalMart?" "I hate this town," Dustin said. There's never anywhere to go but WalMart. It didn't matter. I was 100% Grumpy and I wanted to spend some money. Spend some money and maybe I might feel better. I didn't. I bought three movies, "Syriana", "Domino" and "Pride & Prejudice". I kept them even though I was beating myself up for buying them before I even got to the checkout aisle. Why wasn't I buying lamps? I need lamps. Why wasn't I buying a universal remote? I need one of those too. And serving dishes. And new sheets. And accent furniture. I'm not enough of an adult and I should have those things. I should also have a collection of Food Network cookbooks. And a descent wardrobe. And aviator sunglasses. I have none of these things, yet I'm walking out WalMart's door with three new movies. George Clooney and Keira Knightly better be worth it. I became even grumpier. It waned a bit, after Dustin and I ordered pizza and watched Keira wield a shotgun around, throw a knife at Mickey Rourke and give a gangster a lap dance. I couldn't take all the yelling. It made me more grumpy. So after he left I threw in "Pride & Prejudice". If I had a Mr. Darcy, I bet he'd like that I can get into movies like "Syriana", "Munich", "Domino" and "Underworld" just as much as "You've Got Mail", "Pride & Prejudice" and "Shopgirl". So now I'm here, at work. And still grumpy. Tomorrow I might just retreat from the world all together. Find a corner in a bookstore and suck myself into another world. Maybe I'll go on a search for a good coffee house. If that doesn't work, I'm hitting WalMart.