Tuesday, August 14, 2007


I just realized that I don't remember the last name of my ex-best friend in junior high.

And for some reason - that's a bit of a relief.

I'm sure it's just a fluke. Right now, there are exactly 1,234,032 things that I'm trying to keep straight in my head and her name must not be one of them. It will probably come back to me at some inopportune moment.

But for now, I'm relieved.

She wasn't the best, best friend. When I look at my friends now - I wonder how lacking in self respect I used to be to let someone suck the energy and integrity right out of me - even at 13. The fact that I can't remember her name, is kind of nice.

But as always - I'm wondering if forgetting people...is a bad habit with me. It's a running joke that when/if I attend my high school reunion it will probably feel more like an odd office party to me than any sort of reunion. I probably don't remember 70% of the kids who took English, Art or Geometry with me.

And there are friends I've neglected to call...because one thing or another gets put before them. Friends I should take time to visit. Take vacations for. See more often. And I don't. And though I could analyze all that and try to figure out why - I just can't bring myself to do it right now.

At the moment, I'm reading a few different memoirs...and am working with my Grandmother on writing down all of her memories. I certainly could never write my own. I barely remember what I'm supposed to do today...much less what I said to who when they did whatever it was they did. I can't even remember their full names.

It was Erica something...

It wouldn't bother me in the least if I never remember that last name. But there are plenty that I'm letting feel as though I've forgotten about them...who shouldn't.

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