Monday, September 26, 2005
Lessons from the Bar...Front
1.) Keep your eyes on your lighter, or it'll be the last time you see it 2.) Underwear is called underwear for a reason 3.) There's no reason to get all dressed up 4.) Do not approach an intoxicated person and begin the conversation with, "so I hear you're starting trouble..." This will cause the intoxicated person to speak in a very high pitched tone that will pierce the eardrums of the innocent bystander right next to her 5.) Drinking sure does age people 6.) Sometimes just hearing a name can make you think about that person longer than you probably should 7.) Jamie was nice to me. No bad stuff about her here. Let's just hope she got her car home nice 'n puke-free 8.) Hank. Don't mess with me. You'll never win. Flapjacks. 9.) When someone looks over at you with half-opened eyes and says, "them two look like sisters..." most likely he won't mean, "My, what a resemblence I see in the two of you..." He means, "mmmm....sisters...." 10.) It's probably a good idea not to serve the guy who can't walk into the bar and needs help sitting down 11.) I wish they wouldn't sit him down next to me 12.) I wish he'd shut up And finally..... That is not what camera phones are for...you sick bastards.