Friday, October 14, 2005

Atone, Atone...

In reading a review of Joan Didion's new book...which I will have to get once I get me a job...I came across this quote: "The craziness is receding but no clarity is taking its place." After a day of atoning for my sins...that's exactly how I feel. For longer than I can really account for, I have been trying to figure out things that are wrong with me. Analyzing every movement, every thought, every comment ever made - past and present. And that's exactly how I've seen them. As wrong things. But I'm starting to see them as less wrong - and more defined. Like when people say someone has a face with really defined features. The "things" define...stuff about me. And while they're still unclear, I figure at least I'm starting to come around to realizing that they're not wrong things...they're just...undefined things...meant to define. Understand what I'm saying? Eh, I didn't think so... That's what a day of atoning will do to you...

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