Tuesday, October 16, 2007

i got nuthin'

Mart is one of my very best friends.

As male/female friendships go (and I don't believe they're possible without special circumstance: i.e. the male is engaged to your best friend etc.) - as they go - Mart and I really are great friends. We've had beers together, comforted each other and talked forever. I'd do anything for him, I see his side of things. He'd do anything for me. He'd fix my car, move my furniture, or pick me up from any place anywhere. There are some situations I might even call on him before my own brothers. He'd break any guy in two who would be less than gentlemanly with me - and has threatened to do so to a couple already.

He is my brother from another mother.

But Friday night, I wanted to crack him in the jaw with a baseball bat.

With a goofy, intoxicated grin, Mart waved me over to his side of the bar.

"Jessica," he said. "I feel bad."

"Why do you feel bad, Mart?"

"I feel bad for you," he said.

"Me?"

"You need a man!"

If he hadn't looked so funny saying so, I wouldn't have laughed. "Yes, Mart," I said. "I do need a man."

"You know, I know - how lucky I am to have Rachel. We may not always agree but she loves me and I know - she's always there no matter what,"

Yes...that is sweet isn't it?

"But you," he went on. "You have...nothing."

And cue baseball bat.

I shrugged him off with a smile. "You're right Mart. I have nothing."

"No," he said. "But really...you have nothing. And I just feel bad."

WHACK!

Ahh well...one more beer and twenty minutes later he was singing the opening line to Britney's "Gimme More" - and all was forgiven.

Sort of.

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