Tuesday, October 09, 2007

monkeys in my heart

I really want to say more today. More than I will. But it's just not in me today. I am relatively calm...which is good...since the anxiety attacks have increased in number and frequency over the past few months. They keep me in the house, keep me in jitters, keep me feeling on the verge.

So I'm relatively calm today. And there's plenty to discuss...the fact that my anxiety is at an all time, debilitating high. I have family coming to visit. I have family leaving me in a short month and a half. I have a vacation that is in the planning stages for January. I am getting lost in my Ipod and can't sing praises enough about Brandi Carlile, Ingrid Michaelson and The Cinematic Orchestra. My writing and I are tangled up again in a love/hate relationship...I love it and it hates that I put it second. I'm back to sleeping on the floor just so I can wake up on time in the morning. Jes dumped Brett Michaels on national TV...which was actually pretty kick ass.

So I really want to say more today...but I'm rather calm. I've got Gary Jules' "Falling Awake" in the Ipod. "Monkeys in my heart/rattling their cages"...

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