Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Cards & Neon Eyebrows

Last night, my friends and I gathered up at Stacy and Jon's house for cards, food, cigarettes and playful insults. I only show up for the cigarettes. They're expecting me to have a catchy opening to this blog highlighting Jon's neon eyebrows or the fact that Stacy was unable to move from the neck down or Kim and Mike playing "I love you more, no I love you more" in between hands. And there is always Jon's catch-phrase for the evening - "dundidit". That's always a classic. But I hope they'll understand if I don't. You see, yesterday was actually...a pretty bad day. And I was having a really rough day. And as much as I hate to say this, because it sounds cliche and stupid and Dr. Phil-ish, I know I just have to type it out no matter how embarrassing it is. But the thing is that I have been feeling completely and unbelievably...lost. I never thought it was so possible for someone to not have a clue as to what he/she wants out of life or what they want to do with themselves, where they are or even...who they are. And it hit pretty hard yesterday. But then, I went to Stacy's and we sat around her table and we played cards. And Jon drank so much that his eyebrows turned into fluorescent neon bulbs. Jen told me stories of how she threw up repeatedly in Vegas and triumphantly displayed her 37 strings of beads which she got for...well you know what they say...what happens in Vegas... While the kids were running around, Stacy tried to talk to me, but had to turn her entire body because she had strained her neck and back. Jen kept referring to her as the Tin-Man. Kim and Mike played "who loves who more", but when the stakes got higher Kim's nostrils started flaring and Mike's eyes narrowed and they were both out for blood. And I stayed too long. Until my eyes were so heavy I thought I might need to put toothpicks in them in order to drive home. And I laughed too loud. And after a turned into a cackle. And I smoked too much. And I forgot for a few hours how lost I felt. I love my friends. For not judging me, not thinking any less of me and for giving me a place where they'll cover for you if you need a nickle or two because of a bad you can try your luck on the next one.

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